This morning - I was in near tears. I talked to my mom last night and I'm at my wits end. I apologized for all the things I thought I did wrong (even though I didn't really know what it was!) I told her I loved her. She would be okay one minute and then mad and crying the next minute. It didn't seem to matter what I would say to her,it didn't seem to make it better.
She says she won't read the blog anymore because it makes her sad. I don't understand that. The reason I started the blog was so that it would be another way of sharing our life with our family and friends far away.
She also says that she will never come visit - that what happened here is too painful. Even though it was 15 plus years ago, and I am not enough for her to get past that. That to me is VERY hurtful - but I won't hold it against her. I am trying to understand.
And just so I am make it clear - that I would be posting my thoughts on this regardless of wether she was reading this or not. This is all I will mention of what has happened between me and my mom .

Aunt Beth came and picked me up today and we went and had lunch. It was really nice. She came into the store and saw my layouts.It was fun to show off some off my stuff. We went to Pei Wei (a little version of P.F. Changs). I got the pad thai. Beths stuff was spicier than mine. Her's made my eyese water. I love hearing about her kids (my cousins). We were always pretty close when we were younger and still are to some extent. It's harder now that everyone is all over the place. Oh yea and Michelle you'll be happy to know she is driving a new Paasat!! It's very cool!!

I am wiped out - both emotionally and physically! I was hurtin pretty good physically today! I am soo glad I am going back to the doctor tomorrow!!